The following is a snippet from the current book I am writing. It covers a very specific part of my life and builds to my occult thoughts and practices. Please read and offer your feedback…
As I entered the 9th grade, I was exposed to a new world of people, sights, language and more. My naive self was forced to grow up quickly or be destroyed in a hail of teenage assault. I made some new friends, friends that would not have been approved of by anyone in the Witness organization. I was also to become even more disillusioned with the Society as numerous events of elders with an apparent vendetta against one family occurred.
One new friend turned me on to the Lord of the Ring trilogy and Advanced Dungeons & Dragons. WOW! This all felt so natural to me. It was a realm that I craved and desired, finally laid before me as a new adventure. I began to seriously eat up the idea of magic, a practice that was considered Demonic and dangerous by the Society. I went to the library and poured over encyclopedias and banned book as often as I could. I even stole a book from a book store on how to become a real wizard. I wish I still had that book, I was so terrified of being caught with it I got rid of it.
Now, through the information that I constantly bombarded myself with, I began to formulate an idea. An idea that I really shouldn’t have had seeing that I had only spent a year or more looking into magic. “WHY?”. The thought repeated every time I learned something new. Why did a magical operation have to be performed in a certain way? Why at a certain time, or in a certain phase of the moon or governing astrological sign? Why are specific ingredients needed? Why do I have to not cut my hair and nails to keep demons from obtaining them and controlling me? Why can’t I perform magic without all these requirements?
So, for the next few years I undertook the study of all the magical workings that I could. I never actually practiced anything however; not until my Sr. year of high school. I came across a book that described energy work and its importance. While I do not remember the specific book, I do remember the impact it had on my future development. The book discussed life force, Chi and how it affected you and the world at large. It was an amazing discovery. I began practicing the absorption of energy from an ever-green tree in my yard and it was truly amazing. This book and my energy practice sent me in an entirely new direction. What if all the operations, timing, and correspondences were but mere tools for the mind? What if the true operation was the manipulation of this energy?!